This is an TOTALLY REAL (joke) timeline created by esik.

WARNING: foul language, racism and another bullshit and let ur kids read it

Timeline Edit

50000 BC Edit

  • Neanderthals do not remember how to make wheels. The wheel was never heard from again.

15 BC Edit

  • Nuclear Bomb is invented by sheep fuckers and toxic kids

2010s Edit

  • 2017: The United States of McDonalds has fucking trouble dealing with ISIS douchebag in Iran & Iraq.
  • 2017: AGP farts or something.
  • 2018: The Mutant Sheep Fucking Syndicate scum are formed after a nuclear test in Iran by North Korea.

2019: DECorp cool aid bois are formed P.S they are never heard from again.

2020's Edit

  • 2020: The Mutant Sheep Fucking Syndicate stay on the outskirts of Mosul, killing anything they see and putting their micro-dicks in corpses' assholes.
  • 2020: Conflicts occur between Sanders States of KFC & United States of McDonalds resulting in a small war for sheep fucking.
  • 2020: The Mutant Syndicate get inside Mosul, ISIS sells the sheeps to fuck.
  • 2022: Into my asshole place in ur bedroom
  • 2023: Sanders KFC begin to plan a isis attack on Niggeria & Ching Dick Chong.
  • 2024: Resources,sheeps and planes are gathered for the attack plan.
  • 2025: Sanders States of KFC steal 4 planes in a hangar a few miles away from Mosul.
  • 2025: 2 stolen in Hong Dick Kong streets, the other 2 are fucked and killed in publicic
  • The 240 sheeps-fuckers in Niggeria go across the country, fucking sheeps, raping big-assed black women, & raiding small villages.
  • The sheeps-fuckers in Hong Dick Kong rampage through the streets, opening fire on non-sheeps fuckers & rappers.
  • 2026: The war between fat princesses and neanderthals begins.

2030s Edit

  • 2032: End of the war; the Cheeseburger Goes Boom.
    • Sanders States of KFC invades southeastern United States of McDonalds.
    • United States of McDonalds invades Fried Chicken Land and southeastern Made-In-China.
    • The Outer Banks are hit by several planes that goes Allah Akbar.
    • Rockport is hit by several planes that Allah Akbar.
    • Pearl City is hit by two planes that Allah Akbar.
    • Las Vegas & Boulder City are hit by three planes that Allah Akbar.
  • 2033: The Enclave is formed.
  • 2033: Into The Storm II takes place in Western Africa.
  • 203X: Shit sniffers™ is founded
  • 203X: Nuclear winter begins.
  • 203X: Colonel Sanders Fried Chicken are scattered across the Wasteland, still following their goal of fattening off the human race.
  • 2039: After the World Goes Boom: Deep Asshole takes place.

2040s Edit

  • 204X: Nuclear snow ends.

2050s Edit

  • 2052: Into The Storm III takes place in Las Vegas, Nevada.
  • 2055: CDF douchebags buys dock where Dicktown will be built.
  • 2056: Docktown built by CDF douchebags.

2060s Edit

2070s Edit

  • 207X: Construction of New Atlanta begins, several miles south of KFC.
  • 207X: United States of McDonalds restores contact with other countries such as AIDS, Tea-drinkers, and Iberia.
  • 2070: Dank Hank Carter is born in a shack in Redneck Town

2080s Edit

  • 208X: CDF douchebags and the Enclave make groundbreaking whorehouses.
  • 208X: People begin abandoning McDonalds Funded Living Facilities for more healthy living conditions in whorehouses.
  • 208X: Towns of cow feces and rock begin reappearing.
  • 208X: National trade picks up, because these fucking neanderthals learn how to share their fucking rocks.
  • 2085: Ass Smashing Facility finished.
  • 2089: Darudesharks capture Masterson Dank Facility.
  • 208/9X: The Enclave prepares to fight what it calls terrorists in Pearl Harbor.
  • 208/9X: CDF douchebags gains control of Masterson Dank Facility, averting the Enclave antiterrorism campaign.

2090s Edit

  • 2096: The Bullshit Wars occurs.
    • Several low-ranking CDF douchebags and Enclave officials are raped.
    • There is a large military conflict in downtown New Atlanta.
    • Republic of Titwater forms.
    • The Enclave splits into Eastern Weeaboos and Western Geeks.
    • The Period Bloods are formed from anti-Titwater/AIDS CDF douchebags survivors.
  • 209/10X: The PRT, with the help of AIDS, begins taking land from the United States of McDonalds.

2100s Edit

2110s Edit

Bredtvet, and Fort Mememington **SHARE** forest fires.

  • Fort ChadJew's barracks, HR rooms, comms center, and cafeteria are blown up.
    • Fort Mememington's barracks, vehicle repair center, comms center, and cafeteria are blown up.
    • Several Enclave and CDF douchebags tanks, APCs, Vertabirds and artillery pieces are blown up.
    • Southshit's Sand Shark and Dickhole Smashing Facility are blown up (RIP Linkin Park and Bernie Sanders.
    • The Tirewater side of the Halfmoon Bridge is boomed.
    • Damn Canadians attack from the north with fucking hand held rail tanks.
    • Canadians re-blow the world up.
    • Canadians become supreme leader of the Americas.
  • 2115: Soup Shark and Post Office rebuilt by cheap plastic Made-In-China shit.
  • Some Edgy MPs beat up some Crooked Democrats

Genghis Khan 2.0 rapes Colonel Shitstain (major event!!11!)

  • Edgy Reds stop bombing things and start firing and taking shits on people
  • Bar gets blown up in shitty event
  • Corsairs die and Bouncing Border Bandit bois come back
  • xthatcooldude is exiled from B3 for ERP and Safeguard comes and kicks ass
  • Admins remove fan faction shit to 10 members cause they're edgy people who stuff Chad's shit in their face


What most didn't understand or know was, the 21st shelling weren't caused by the MEB in hopes of causing conflict in Halfmoon Sound, but, rather, the USCPF's attempt to wipe out rival restaurants in the south, thus giving Whitman Bay an edge over delicious food.

The Soup Shark was one such fatality, being hit with a HE shell. The USCPF got what they wanted, a weakened franchise in the south, however, a man named Jack Nacho, famous southern food-spokesman of the Soup Shark knew the truth, this bitter rivalry had lasted for ages, he knew the USCPF's intent. With his exceedingly good speech skills, he has taken up leading a small militia, those who claim to know the truth, the REDs. His mission is to stop the USCPF's plan to overthrow the southern food market, and take out Tidewater restaurants. If the REDs fail, the USCPF will succeed in it's evil plan of needless delicious slaughter.

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